- Ashley: What's that noise?
- Me: I'm mixing the rice with the sauce
- Ashley: Oh is it one of those microwavable things?
- Me: Yeah, you think I'm going to go do woman's work?
"I am not a lesbian, I just have a fascination with breasts"
The wise words of derpy... the redundant ho'
- Derpy: okay that not what I'm getting at, its like you dont want him in a relationship with anyone but you also dont want him in a relationship with anyone else
Such a bad mom
- Me: You have too many babies
- Ashley: Well put some in the fucking backyard and make sure you can't get them
"So when you say she’s not a slut anymore you meant she is a mega slut now."
— John Salib
Charlene is a fucking pissed bitch
Me: Charlene… Charlene… suce mon bite
Charlene: I’m sorry I don’t speak french
Ashley: It means suck my dick. I don’t even speak french and I knew that!