- Me: The girl still never answered.
- Charlene: What a cunt
- Me: No, what a fucking more than a cunt. What a fucking Ass Munch.
My mum hurts
- Me: Mom you're not going to defend me?
- Mom: What?
- Me: She said that you think I'm a slut.
- Mom: Sometimes.
I'm sexy and I know it.
- Me: I have so much power in my hand.
- Charlene: You love your phone don't you.
- Me: It's called my cock.
- Me: Someone just asked me if I was Jewish because my last name is Salib. Do I look like a Jew? Wait... Don't answer that.
- Charlene: You call this dinner?
- Me: Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam... I don't know why I know that.
- Charlene: Were you hired to sing at a bar mitzvah
- Me: You know what's funny....
- *seconds pass*
- Me: no.