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John Salib
June 29th
1:37 AM
How I feel about Evan.

How I feel about Evan.

February 24th
12:12 PM

Cunt

  • Me: The girl still never answered.
  • Charlene: What a cunt
  • Me: No, what a fucking more than a cunt. What a fucking Ass Munch.
February 2nd
1:17 AM

Remember those days I was famous on Dailybooth?

Let’s make it happen again.

http://dailybooth.com/thenamesanonymous

January 5th
10:00 AM

My mum hurts

  • Me: Mom you're not going to defend me?
  • Mom: What?
  • Me: She said that you think I'm a slut.
  • Mom: Sometimes.
December 29th
12:15 AM
I’m a whore…

I’m a whore…

October 17th
2:01 AM

I'm sexy and I know it.

  • Me: I have so much power in my hand.
  • Charlene: You love your phone don't you.
  • Me: It's called my cock.
12:35 AM

I'm Dry.

  • Me: Someone just asked me if I was Jewish because my last name is Salib. Do I look like a Jew? Wait... Don't answer that.
  • Charlene: You call this dinner?
  • Me: Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha‑olam... I don't know why I know that.
  • Charlene: Were you hired to sing at a bar mitzvah
  • Me: You know what's funny....
  • *seconds pass*
  • Me: no.
October 16th
10:53 PM

The awkward moment you realize you would be the perfect candidate for prostitution.

August 25th
7:57 AM
Apparently no one thinks I’m a virgin.

Apparently no one thinks I’m a virgin.

August 22nd
4:01 PM
It’s true. I did.

It’s true. I did.